Parenting is plagued with second guessing yourself, at least for me. When the girls were babies I worried that I wasn't feeding them enough, that they weren't dressed warmly enough, that I was holding them too much or not enough. Then in toddlerhood it changed to: Am I giving them enough vegetables, am I teaching them enough. Preschool was a little different still: Am I expecting too much from them, are they watching too much TV, am I playing with them often enough. Then as school age approaches more second guessing comes: Have I taught them what they need to know, are they strong enough in their faith to make good choices, has our few hours at the end of the day been quality time. It just never ends. At home I don't always see exactly what or who my children are when they are away from me and that can be a bit discouraging. It seems like there are times when it's battle after battle with one of them at home, and the beautiful person I know they are inside stays hidden from me. It's those times when I need to hear positive things about them from someone else. Just to remind me that some of what I say sinks in. Does that make sense? It's so easy to feel like a failure as a parent, BUT, I'm learning through our bible study that it is Satan who wants me to feel that way. It's his way of beating me up. It's a lie. I'm not a failure. There is always room for improvement but I haven't failed my children. They are sweet, kind, beautiful people - all three of them - and that doesn't happen by accident. It's the result of committed parenting, deep love, and lots of prayer! I'm so thankful for the children God gave me. They are all so different and complex and wonderful. And even though they can rile me up and push my buttons I wouldn't change anything about any one of them!
Ed and I are trying to make the right decision about high school for Katie. Public school does not seem to be a good option for many reasons. I'm praying about it, of course, and I know God will let me know what He wants us to do when He's good and ready. It is still two years away. But, being the planner that I am, I'd like to know NOW! That isn't how it works, however, and we will have to wait and see. I tell you, I can come up with more stuff to busy my brain with!!
Shop Talk: I'm supposed to be working on my writing right now while Allison is at school. This counts though, doesn't it? I find that it's difficult to get myself going sometimes. I'm like that about a lot of things I think. I drag my feet about doing something, but once I get going I get totally absorbed in it. Cooking, housework, coloring with Allison, reading with Becky, shopping with Katie - doesn't matter what it is, I tend to drag my feet, sometimes, not always. I think I'll visit the Rx for Writers site I go to and get a bit of inspiration! Then I need to buckle down and read, read, read. I'll finish reading part 2 of assignment 7 and then start reading from the pile of books on Ghana! Hopefully I'll find my angle easily! I'm tempted to enter another contest but this one is POETRY! EEEEK! Not my thing. But, it would be challenging. And, it wouldn't hurt to try it out. I don't think I'm artsy enough to write poetry. How's that for a stereotype!?
Happy Wednesday!
Ending with Scripture:
Proverbs 31: 26-28 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. (speaking of the Virtuous Woman)
