My Favorite Store(s)

I think I've said it before but just in case I haven't - Home Goods/TJ Maxx is/are my favorite stores. Lately I've been finding the best stuff -home stuff - at both places. Stuff for the bathroom, stuff for the kitchen, stuff for the living room. It's GREAT! Just yesterday Ed and I went looking for a new rug to go in our living room. Home Goods was the first place we looked and we found just the right one. Here it is:

Brown and tan shag. Feels SO good on bare feet. Neutral enough to go with lots of stuff. For instance, next on my redecorating plan is new throw pillows and curtains for the living room. Been saying that for awhile. But the rug is a good start.

Lucy had a terrible day yesterday. She apparently hurt her leg somehow and was limping. She was SO uncomfortable and pretty pathetic. I even called the vet to get her some pain meds. I told Becky and Allison that Lucy is sick. I explained that her sickness is the kind that won't go away and that we really don't know how long she'll be around. Becky seemed okay. Allison was very matter of fact about it. I didn't get all deep and detailed - just the basics. There will more time to talk about it as she gets more sick. However, today she's completely like her old self. Her leg seems fine and she wants to play. Becky even took her for a little walk. I guess that's how it'll be - some good days and some bad. I don't much like the bad days.

Shop Talk: I think I get discouraged too easily. Rejection letters are the nature of the writing business and I totally get that. That doesn't make it any easier to get them though. I got two in the same day. That was a bad mail day. Since then I haven't mailed anything else out. That's what happens; I get discouraged and don't submit anything to anywhere until I get over it, I guess. I've said before that market research is NOT fun -it can be so tedious and seemingly unproductive. Finding the right place to send in submissions can be very difficult and I guess that's the part I'm struggling with. So, for now I'm writing my story my way. My fabulous critique group will offer amazing words of insight and wisdom. I'll make the changes. Then I'll search for a home for it. I have many ideas rolling around in my head - more than I've had before. Not sure how to or if I should work on more than one idea at a time. I'll have to ask the ladies in my group what they think. So there. That's that.

I'm getting really excited about my 20th High School Reunion! It's next month. I'm not sure how I've been out of high school for twenty years when I remember it like it was yesterday, literally. It will be a blast I'm sure. Friends are coming from all over to be there, friends I haven't seen in years. I'm looking forward to catching up face to face!

That about covers things for now... Happy Weekend!

My New Discovery

New discovery for me today. I enjoy cleaning my house. No, I really mean it. These last few weeks I've worked MUCH less than I have all school year and it's become a whole lot easier to keep up with the constant cleaning that needs to be done. While working it seems that the cleaning gets squished in between the work and the errands that I have to do. Not working allows me to stay on top of things. Therefore, it's more enjoyable. I can run those errands, walk with a friend, do some writing and STILL have a clean house. It's marvelous!

I'm beginning to understand why Ed's dad had a bark collar for this little dog. She tends to get a bit bark happy when we're outside. Today she was going nuts at a BIRD. Silly little dog. I haven't used the collar - don't intend to. Too much trouble. She gets herself under control and, if I'm honest, she cracks me up. She's happy and energetic, playful and sweet. We love her.

Practical Joke

So. You may have read that one of our hamsters bit the dust the other day. She was vicious and apparently crazy, so I can't say I'm too broken up about it. I was a little concerned about telling Allison. She does have a tender heart and tends to be a tad dramatic (I use the word tad here lightly). Anyway, she was drawing a picture of all of our pets and I felt that I should just come out and tell her that we have one less hamster. She kind of sulked a bit and then snapped out of it just fine. A little while later she was playing with a gray mouse which although is fake looks quite real. She was pretending it was the hamster. Fine. Whatever. When it was time to pick Katie up from track practice Allison brought the gray mouse with us. On the way to the school Allison came up with a plan to FREAK KATIE OUT! "Mom, I'm going to tell Katie that this is the dead hamster!" I started giggling and together we came up with just the right dialogue to get the best effect. Katie got in the car and Allison piped right up. "Katie, did you know the hamster died?" "Yeah," says Katie. "Well, look here it is," says Allison as she held out her hand for Katie to see the "hamster" aka gray mouse. Katie proceeded to SCREAM like a crazy person! It was GREAT! Of course the rest of us were rolling with laughter! I'd say Allison is handling the death of the hamster just fine!

Sadness

I feel like we are travelling full speed ahead into the biggest heartache of my daughter's life and there's not a thing I can do to stop us. Lucy had a huge tumor removed last week and has been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. The symptoms may begin showing up as soon as 3 months from now, although I have my suspicions that we are already seeing some. It seems unlikely that she'll be here come Christmas. Becky doesn't know that Lucy is sick. She just knows that the tumor was removed because it was big and uncomfortable - she has no concept of its dangers. And that is as it should be for a little girl. What is a mother to do? My sadness comes from many different angles. I do love that sweet dog and she is a constant companion to me while the girls are at school. I talk to her, we play, we keep each other company. I will miss her deeply. But as a mom my heart breaks even more when I think of the sadness my girls will endure, especially Becky. Remember Lucy was an answer to her prayers - a true angel sent from heaven. There is a real bond between them, true friendship, mutual love. She will be devastated.
If there is a bright side it's that we have Sandi, the unexpected Jack Russell/Beagle addition to our family. And while she lacks the same devotion to us that Lucy has, she is a sweet little thing who likes to snuggle and play and take walks. In time she may develop that devotion, who knows. Becky wants to baby her. She likes to carry her around and make sure she eats all of her food. She walks her and runs her around the yard. Sandi has been caught sleeping on Becky's bed at night, and I've insisted she get down and sleep on a dog bed, you know, like a dog! However, these last few days have found me more willing to let Becky spoil Sandi. I want that little dog to love her the same way Lucy does. I want Becky to have something or someone to help soften the blow when it comes and it could be that Sandi came to us for that reason. I don't know.
I'm not sure how or when Becky will be told of Lucy's sickness. I know I'll wait until Lucy starts to seem sick. Right now she's the sweet, dedicated, lazy girl that she's always been and in that regard not much will change. The vet said it will most likely appear as respiratory issues, a cough or lack of energy - both of which she has been dealing with a little bit already. My hope and prayer is that I'll know when the poor old girl has had enough. If you've ever had a lab you know that their desire to please their people outweighs anything else. And Lucy would stay with us forever if she could regardless of her discomfort or pain just to make her girl happy. She won't want to say goodbye anymore than we will. Oh, how I dread that day.
For now we will continue to love our sweet Lucy and make her life as happy as we can. Lucy doesn't know she's sick and neither does Becky, so their friendship won't be strained by the stress of knowing goodbye is near. I'm glad about that. God will carry my girl through the sadness. I'm glad about that too.